What a word... Yesterday...
Basically, yesterday was kind of a disaster. Not as a whole, but the last few hours of the day were pretty much miserable. I was recruited into another play at this community theater close to my house, because they needed an understudy for one of their leads, but that's the back story. The guy playing my character's boss is the same guy who played my dad in the last play I was in over there. Since that show, I've always just called him "Dad." Anyway, yesterday at the first session of play practice at the theater, I was sitting by myself, feeling quite depressed because I'd just found out several things that were just - depressing. "Larry"'s dad is still being a total jerk, to the point of where now, they're probably gonna have to move because he won't sign this paper that would let them keep their house. AND, "Larry" just told me on Monday that Prom at his school is gonna be on the 26th of this month...leaving me 2 1/2 weeks to find a dress, shoes, and get everything else ready. Basically, I was freakin out. Still am, sorta, but it's ok. Besides that, I'm still dealing with a case of whiplash I got from going off a 4-foot jump on a sledding hill, showing up all the boys by means of "air", and then paying for it, dearly, in the end.
Anyway, I was talking to my stage Daddy and he could tell something was up, because apparently he can read people that well, and he was saying how I really just need to talk about it and I was resisting. A lot. At the end of practice, I was about to head out to my car, when his son, my stage Bro came and gave me a hug and we were talking and of course, here comes "Dad", again with the whole "You need to talk about it" thing, and I was like, "I'm fine, really." and he was like "Isn't there anything any of us can do?" and I said "No, there's nothing you can do."
and he said "There has to be something." and I said "No, even I can't do anything about it." and around this time, I was starting to get teary-eyed because everything was sinking in, way more than I had expected, to where I felt like I'd been hit by an emotional train. Then, he said "Well, you can at least talk about it. Awh.. look at you, you're getting tears in your eyes."
Theeen I lost it... I turned around so my back was to him, trying to suppress the emotion that was trying to get out of me, but as always, it did no good. I don't even know why I turned around, cuz he just walked around me.
We talked about everything that was going on, and he gave me some sound advice, but it was stuff I already kinda knew, and, k, this is new news, but the last time I got to go see "Larry", we went for a long walk and he told me that a while ago, his dad had called me a f---ing whore... Yeah, awesome, I know. So anyway, I told my stage dad that and he was like "Well I'll punch him for that. And I'm not afraid to either." So yeah, that made me feel a tiny bit better, but anyway, after we finished talking about everything, and he told me to let people do nice things for me cuz it would make me feel better, and it would let them feel good cuz they were able to help me, yada yada yada.
After I got home, which was just a few minutes later, I decided to clean my room and listen to music, and I ended up totally breaking down in a fit for about an hour. Then, to try and relax, I went and took a hot shower, and for the first time ever in my life, I cried in the shower too... It was probably the weirdest thing ever.
