Today I marry my best friend, my dream man, and the love of my life. The day before today was absolutely insane, but we made it. We're here. At 10 o'clock this morning, we will be sealed for time and for all Eternity in the temple of our God, to be husband and wife from this life and into the next and forever more. I can barely explain what I'm feeling, my heart has never beat this fast, and I've never been happier in my Life. At one of my bridal showers, someone asked me if I had any advice or perspective on marriage. I couldn't think of anything at the time, but since then, I've come up with a very clear answer.
My advice to you is this: trust God and in His timing. It won't make sense all the time, or even any of the time, but everything will become clearer as you trust Him and keep moving forward and stay close to the Spirit. Trust in your Patriarchal Blessing. Zach is everything that was described in my Patriarchal Blessing and more, and I'm so blessed to be able to call him my husband today. It's strange, I still don't feel old enough to be getting married, but at the same time, I recognize that I'm older than a lot of my friends were when they got married. So, I'm not too worried.
Let me tell you a few things about Zach that have made me sure that I want to marry him.
First: the first time we met, officially, was on our first date. We had met briefly before then, but hadn't really gotten to know each other. But on our first date, there was something about him that took down every wall I'd ever had against relationships and men and everything. As soon as I'd gotten in his car for our date, I knew something about him was different. It was unlike any other date I'd ever been on, and still, every date and every time I'm with him, it just feels like home. Because he is home.
Second: Back in August, I'd had to check myself into a psych ward because I wasn't doing well emotionally at all, and had become extremely suicidal. I hadn't told him anything about this until we had officially started dating, but one night, we went out to dinner, and I told him the truth about why I'd been in the hospital, and he said two words: "I know." He didn't have an exact explanation for why he knew what he knew, but apparently he knew I'd bee suicidal and that was why I went to the hospital, but he's thought none the less of me even knowing perhaps my deepest insecurity.
Third: This past week was extremely rough, I'd been getting major cold feet, wondering if I really wanted to get married, or if I wanted that responsibility, and I actually ended up having a couple major panic attacks about it on Sunday. And his reaction to said panic attacks was another reason why I'm positive that yes, I do want to get married, and yes I do want the extra responsibility, especially if it's for him.
Last night was the last night I'll ever go to bed as a single woman, and I'm completely alright with that. I don't know everything about marriage, or what our marriage will be like, but I do know that I love him, whole heartedly and completely with ever fiber of my being. I thought I understood love, and what it meant to be in love, but it is nothing like I expected it to be. It is so much more. So I ask that you keep yourself worthy of this kind of special, unique love, and never settle for anything less. No matter how attractive or charming a man may seem on the outside, what's really important is how he makes you feel on the inside. I've found my forever Prince Charming, and my hope is that when you're looking for yours, you'll look for someone who treats you like your father treats me. Someone who makes you happy, and not only happy emotionally, but spiritually. Someone who understands you. Someone who is willing to sacrifice for you, but still maintains a healthy level of independence. Someone you love so much that the thought of being apart in the afterlife makes you sick. Maybe not literally, but I know that's how I've felt. I don't want to live without him, and in his profession, even if he falls in the line of duty, I will go about the remainder of my days eager to be back in his arms when I cross the veil.
My search for Prince Charming is over, but yours has just begun. May you trust God and be blessed with a man as amazing as your father, if not moreso.
All my love,
Mom
