I never realized that going without a phone for more than a couple weeks could be so "refreshing" and yet so tantalizing at the same time...I'm pretty much dying without getting to talk to "Larry." He and I have talked every day for at least an hour for more than a year. In short, this is very different, and it SUCKS very much... Doesn't help that my parents are getting paranoid about me and him so they're limiting how often I can see him, which also SUCKS...
In short...it just sucks.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Kodak Moment! Be Jealous!
I had the CUTEST moment with the guy of my dreams last week. I was having a really bad day cuz I had had a bad day the day before because I felt inadequate to a lot of other girls cuz my hair isn't as perfect, my face shape is kinda round, my hand-writing sucks (seriously) and yeah, I could go on. But anyway, later that night, he and I had had a fight over which school he was going to transfer to. It didn't end well. I was supposed to go over to his house the day after to have his mom show us how to make really good cinnamon rolls. (They were delicious, by the way.) We agreed that we wouldn't talk about him transferring at all that day and that we'd just forget about it and spend the day together. (Already pretty cute, huh?)
I went over to his house the next day, and that day was worse than the day before because I had gotten a job opportunity at the pool near my house and I didn't get the job and I DESPERATELY needed it. I was pretty much heartbroken. He was concerned about this, and wanted to make sure I was happy. When I first got to his house, his mom was working on some sewing project so we went downstairs and watched 50 First Dates, which I thought was funny, but it was also really nasty at some points. Not funny.
After his mom had showed us how to make cinnamon rolls, we went back downstairs and were watching this movie about the ocean. *interesting.....* His little sister came down and he told her to use his phone to text his OLDER sister and see when she'd be home. After she did, she wouldn't give his phone back, and I wanted to get it before he did so I told her to give it to me, but then he wouldn't let go of me, so we kind of wrestled, which was funny, cuz he was trying to keep me down the whole time so I couldn't get his phone and I was trying to get out of his grip (which is freakin HULKISH by the way).
I won.
After that, we went up to get food then came back down and were watchin some other movie when his older sister came down and was bein a jerk. She was like "come move my TV for me." without even asking, then when he wouldn't, she started to hit him, and she stole his phone and sent this stupid message saying "i'm a retard never talk to me again" to all of his contacts in his phone. She's 18 years old. Immature much? Sheesh. So then, she brought up the dreaded subject: Him transferring. Instantly I started feeling like I was gonna cry. I wanted to get away from his sister.
"Can we go outside?" I asked, even though it was raining. He looked at me with alarm etched in his expression. He knew exactly what was gonna happen. He handed me his jacket, and we went out in the rain. His sister left to go to the store, so we just stood there for a minute.
"Are you ok?" He asked, approaching me. "You went from yea happy," *stretches out his arms* "to yea happy." *shrinks them to just a few inches apart*
"Your sister brought up the subject that we were trying to avoid today." I said quietly. I had no idea I could talk so quietly.
"Ah." He said, pulling me into an embrace. "Do you want to go sit in the car?"
"Yeah." I said, and we went to the SUV in the driveway. He opened the door for me and I got in, sliding to the middle. He followed, sitting on the edge seat. *Yes, we were sitting in the back seat. I wanted to cuddle up to him*
We continued talking, and I can't remember what was said except for that he said something like "I'll always be yours. You know that, right?" And I said "Well, yeah, I just -." Then my voice broke and the tears flowed.
THIS IS THE KODAK MOMENT
As soon as my voice broke, his arms wrapped tenderly around me and he pulled me into his chest, gently whispering "Shhh, it's alright, Sweetheart" in my ear.
My chest heaved as I tried to keep the unattractive sounds of crying to a minimum, therefore it just came out as choked, shuddered gasps. He stroked my hair and briskly rubbed my back as I sat there, curled up against him. I calmed down for a minute, then he said something else that got me started again just cuz I was feelin so sensitive at that moment, and again, he wrapped me in his arms, saying "It's ok, don't cry." Shortly afterward, his sister came home again, and he took me home.
Talk about a Kodak moment :)
I went over to his house the next day, and that day was worse than the day before because I had gotten a job opportunity at the pool near my house and I didn't get the job and I DESPERATELY needed it. I was pretty much heartbroken. He was concerned about this, and wanted to make sure I was happy. When I first got to his house, his mom was working on some sewing project so we went downstairs and watched 50 First Dates, which I thought was funny, but it was also really nasty at some points. Not funny.
After his mom had showed us how to make cinnamon rolls, we went back downstairs and were watching this movie about the ocean. *interesting.....* His little sister came down and he told her to use his phone to text his OLDER sister and see when she'd be home. After she did, she wouldn't give his phone back, and I wanted to get it before he did so I told her to give it to me, but then he wouldn't let go of me, so we kind of wrestled, which was funny, cuz he was trying to keep me down the whole time so I couldn't get his phone and I was trying to get out of his grip (which is freakin HULKISH by the way).
I won.
After that, we went up to get food then came back down and were watchin some other movie when his older sister came down and was bein a jerk. She was like "come move my TV for me." without even asking, then when he wouldn't, she started to hit him, and she stole his phone and sent this stupid message saying "i'm a retard never talk to me again" to all of his contacts in his phone. She's 18 years old. Immature much? Sheesh. So then, she brought up the dreaded subject: Him transferring. Instantly I started feeling like I was gonna cry. I wanted to get away from his sister.
"Can we go outside?" I asked, even though it was raining. He looked at me with alarm etched in his expression. He knew exactly what was gonna happen. He handed me his jacket, and we went out in the rain. His sister left to go to the store, so we just stood there for a minute.
"Are you ok?" He asked, approaching me. "You went from yea happy," *stretches out his arms* "to yea happy." *shrinks them to just a few inches apart*
"Your sister brought up the subject that we were trying to avoid today." I said quietly. I had no idea I could talk so quietly.
"Ah." He said, pulling me into an embrace. "Do you want to go sit in the car?"
"Yeah." I said, and we went to the SUV in the driveway. He opened the door for me and I got in, sliding to the middle. He followed, sitting on the edge seat. *Yes, we were sitting in the back seat. I wanted to cuddle up to him*
We continued talking, and I can't remember what was said except for that he said something like "I'll always be yours. You know that, right?" And I said "Well, yeah, I just -." Then my voice broke and the tears flowed.
THIS IS THE KODAK MOMENT
As soon as my voice broke, his arms wrapped tenderly around me and he pulled me into his chest, gently whispering "Shhh, it's alright, Sweetheart" in my ear.
My chest heaved as I tried to keep the unattractive sounds of crying to a minimum, therefore it just came out as choked, shuddered gasps. He stroked my hair and briskly rubbed my back as I sat there, curled up against him. I calmed down for a minute, then he said something else that got me started again just cuz I was feelin so sensitive at that moment, and again, he wrapped me in his arms, saying "It's ok, don't cry." Shortly afterward, his sister came home again, and he took me home.
Talk about a Kodak moment :)
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Reconciliation
I don't think I spelled that right. But who cares..?
This is gonna be a short post because I have a life that is extremely busy at the moment, and my body is trying to die. Not really. Yes about the very busy part. But basically, the guy I was talkin about in my post earlier, the one that "Trishia" was dating that I fell madly in love with; he and I went out for four months, then, because we were getting too serious too fast, I broke it off, and boy, he was not happy about it at first, as all guys are. But I was determined not to lose him forever, so, even though it just about broke my heart to have him actually mad at me for the first time since I met him, I didn't break our communication and eventually we fixed things. We're not back together, but we still love each other just as much, and we hang out still, so yeah, I'll give a more detailed description of everything in a later post.
This is gonna be a short post because I have a life that is extremely busy at the moment, and my body is trying to die. Not really. Yes about the very busy part. But basically, the guy I was talkin about in my post earlier, the one that "Trishia" was dating that I fell madly in love with; he and I went out for four months, then, because we were getting too serious too fast, I broke it off, and boy, he was not happy about it at first, as all guys are. But I was determined not to lose him forever, so, even though it just about broke my heart to have him actually mad at me for the first time since I met him, I didn't break our communication and eventually we fixed things. We're not back together, but we still love each other just as much, and we hang out still, so yeah, I'll give a more detailed description of everything in a later post.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Anger Management
Soooo.......this doesn't relate at all to my Prince Charming search. Well, it kinda does. I'll explain that first. Basically, I don't think I'll EVER understand how concerned my best guy friend/ex boyfriend is about me and my well-being. Hence the reason why I have a ginormous bruise on my hand, from my own stupid decision.
I was in my Finance class, and suddenly, my phone goes off. so of course, teacher comes up "give it to me" "Fine" end of subject. He TAPES IT UP, and gives it to the front office. I'm already pretty pissed. So, I go out of class once we're allowed to leave, and go to my locker to put my backpack away. I shove it in my locker, I'm still really pissed off, and as soon as I shut my locker, almost without thinking, suddenly *WHAM* I turned around around and punched my locker as hard as I could, although almost immediately shaking my hand like crazy and going "oh my gosh, ow" My pinky knuckle swelled up about double it's normal size, and I went and ate lunch, hunky dory. Then, still feeling mad, I got up and went to my locker again, to get my book for guitar. I shut my locker once I got it, and was intending to hit it again, but there were too many people around, and I didn't want to draw attention to myself. So, I saw my friend at the end of the hall, and walked that direction, although I had no intention of talking to him. That's kind of a stupid plan, cuz as soon as he saw me, he says "hey, you ok? You look kinda mad" so I tell him the story, and he's telling me how it's nothing to be mad about, and I whack myself in the face with my guitar book, then, still feeling really pissed off, I turn around and punch the locker behind me, with the SAME hand I had did it with before earlier. The kids standing on the opposite side of the hall, I hear a couple of them go "holy cow" at how hard I hit that thing. my friend, however, wasn't happy, and grabbed my hand, looking over my now really really swollen knuckles. Anyway, once the bell rang, he told me I wasn't allowed to hit anything else, and I went to class, but I couldn't extend my fingers all the way cuz it hurt my knuckles. That was a drag. After class, I had to go get my phone from the office, and I had to talk to an administrator, and I basically just said "shove it, I don't care." in a nice way though. But either or, now I have a "record." And anyway, after that, I texted my best friend, who was my boyfriend a while back, and I told him the whole story, and he was REEEAAALLLLY not happy about how bruised my hand was. In fact, as we were talking about it, he said "you will never do it again. ever." it wasn't just a request, it was a COMMAND. He even admitted that. I was like, "wowza." Then he told me how he was disappointed that I didn't understand how deep his concern is, and I was like "yeah, i don't think I get it either...."
I was in my Finance class, and suddenly, my phone goes off. so of course, teacher comes up "give it to me" "Fine" end of subject. He TAPES IT UP, and gives it to the front office. I'm already pretty pissed. So, I go out of class once we're allowed to leave, and go to my locker to put my backpack away. I shove it in my locker, I'm still really pissed off, and as soon as I shut my locker, almost without thinking, suddenly *WHAM* I turned around around and punched my locker as hard as I could, although almost immediately shaking my hand like crazy and going "oh my gosh, ow" My pinky knuckle swelled up about double it's normal size, and I went and ate lunch, hunky dory. Then, still feeling mad, I got up and went to my locker again, to get my book for guitar. I shut my locker once I got it, and was intending to hit it again, but there were too many people around, and I didn't want to draw attention to myself. So, I saw my friend at the end of the hall, and walked that direction, although I had no intention of talking to him. That's kind of a stupid plan, cuz as soon as he saw me, he says "hey, you ok? You look kinda mad" so I tell him the story, and he's telling me how it's nothing to be mad about, and I whack myself in the face with my guitar book, then, still feeling really pissed off, I turn around and punch the locker behind me, with the SAME hand I had did it with before earlier. The kids standing on the opposite side of the hall, I hear a couple of them go "holy cow" at how hard I hit that thing. my friend, however, wasn't happy, and grabbed my hand, looking over my now really really swollen knuckles. Anyway, once the bell rang, he told me I wasn't allowed to hit anything else, and I went to class, but I couldn't extend my fingers all the way cuz it hurt my knuckles. That was a drag. After class, I had to go get my phone from the office, and I had to talk to an administrator, and I basically just said "shove it, I don't care." in a nice way though. But either or, now I have a "record." And anyway, after that, I texted my best friend, who was my boyfriend a while back, and I told him the whole story, and he was REEEAAALLLLY not happy about how bruised my hand was. In fact, as we were talking about it, he said "you will never do it again. ever." it wasn't just a request, it was a COMMAND. He even admitted that. I was like, "wowza." Then he told me how he was disappointed that I didn't understand how deep his concern is, and I was like "yeah, i don't think I get it either...."
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