Unsurity

There are some things I'm wondering.  

I've still been keeping tabs on Ray-ray's blog, and she's posting more and more crap about Peter, of course. I don't know whether I should keep it up though, because it just makes me angry.  But, at the same time, if she ever crosses a line, Peter can get a restraining order on her. He never reads her blog, thank heaven.

The other thing I'm not so sure of is, in the last email from Nick to his family, he said he's been having a little trouble focusing his mind and his attitude, and I'm really hoping it isn't because of me...

If it is, of course I will take a break from writing him, but I'm hoping it's just that he's just like any other missionary, and it takes some time to adjust and become a good teacher.

I don't know though... 

It doesn't help that the past two weeks have been utter chaos. I had work every day for 9 hours, and 3 of those days, I had to go straight to my show, so I'd have to basically bring my whole room with me to work...

It wasn't fun.

And then, a lot of my family has been getting sick so I've been kinda steering clear of them (not hard when you work 9 hours a day) but my mom just got sick last night, and when my dad told me, I kinda made an "oh great" face, and I got chewed out for it because apparently I'm a selfish diva who cares less about my own mother than about my "theater career."

I didn't speak to my dad for the rest of the night.

He never really says a whole lot, unlike my mom, but he knows how to really stab at you with his words... and yeah, he did. But, I'm a big girl, I can take it.  I'm really fed up with the lack of support I get from my family about my hobbies (theater is a hobby for me, not a career, although most people say it should be.) Come to think of it, most of my hobbies have no prospective future in them that would leave me "well off" by any means. I like doing makeup and nails.  Not so much into hair, cutting anyway, but that's just because I don't know how. But for the most part, it's been drilled into my brain: "no, that has no future in it, choose something else." about even the things I love doing.

Why am I listening?

Better to be poor doing something I love than rich doing something I hate, right?

Anyway, so, I'm going to be doing a lot of "soul-searching" over the next few days and figure out what I'm going to do... I need to talk to Taylor about it. He's basically become my big brother. Always has good advice, doesn't really know when to listen (but then again, does any man ever know when to listen and stop talking?)

So yeah...

Gonna be thinking about a lot of stuff over the next few days.