Ok, so, been a while since I posted.
Probably because I haven't had ANY time whatsoever!
But anyway, I have a couple stories.
So, last Friday was game night. Taylor started inviting me to them a few weeks back and I've gone every week since then. This time, we ended up going laser tagging for 4 HOURS! It was pretty sweet, other than some people really annoyed me, but I just told them to go away, which felt awesome. So, in the 8 games of laser tag that we played, my shoulders started feeling really tight and sore, which really put a damper on my game, but I tried to not let any of the guys notice. I'm pretty much the only girl that goes.
So, Nigel, (Taylor's cousin, remember?) noticed one of the times when I flinched out of pain and asked if I was ok. I insisted that I was fine, but then as I kept flinching, he was like "no, seriously, something's wrong. What is it?"
So, I gave in and told him that my shoulders were hurting, but said I was fine and it wasn't a big deal.
OBVIOUSLY, that didn't fly.
The next time we went up to the briefing room, he was like "you sit on the lower bench."
and I said "ok..?"
so I sat on the lower bench, and he sat on the higher bench above me and rubbed my shoulders the whole time we were being briefed.
Ugh.
So then, after we were all done laser tagging, we went back to Nigel's house, where we usually have game night, down in his basement. The layout is pretty much one big rectangular room with his TV, his couches, his dresser, his bed, his computer, everything.
I usually avoid even going near the bed, but I was exhausted from working so long every day, so I curled up on one of the couches and crashed.
Taylor had given me a ride to game night, so I was kind of stuck.
When I woke up, everyone was playing crazy Uno, and there was actually another person there. Taylor's jacket was over me, so I was pretty much a little wigged.
"Whoa, is there another person here? Why is your jacket on me?" I asked Taylor, groggily.
They all laughed and told me to just go back to sleep. Then Nigel chimed in.
"You can just go lay down on the bed and go to sleep. Probably more comfortable than the couch."
I will admit, I agree full-heartedly. For one, Taylor is really loud, and two, curling up eventually gets kinda uncomfortable.
So I went and laid down on his bed, which was kind of weird because Nigel's man musk was on his pillows, and Taylor's jacket hood fell over my face for a second so I had Taylor's man musk from his jacket on one side of my face, and Nigel's man musk on the other side.
Super weird.
So, when Taylor drove me home about an hour and a half later, when I got in my house, I figured I oughta text Nigel and tell him thanks for letting me use his bed to crash on.
I texted him, and what he said back shocked me...
"it's comfortable huh, you should hang out there more often."
0.0
I was like WHAAAAT??
I immediately texted Taylor and was like "OH MY GOSH, WHAT DO I DO???"
He said it seemed like innocent friendliness, but I'm still not sure.
Taylor doesn't know anything that went on between me and Nigel last summer...
So yeah, that's the first story.
Second story is from last night...
Remember from my last post, how I was talkin about how I was feeling a lack of love from my family? So, still feelin that, but waaaay worse. To the point where yesterday I felt threatened being around my family members. Particularly my parents. They aren't the kind of parents that will love you just because I'm their kid. If I do something that might not be that smart, boy, do they let me know...
It really sucks sometimes.
So, Nathan (if you remember him. kind of creeper) asked me last night if he could come talk to me. I, feeling awful and lonely, said "sure, why not?"
So, he came over and we talked in my yard for the first little bit. Then we moved over to his car and sat on the hood and kept talking.
A very strange sensation overcame me. Every time I looked at him, I had the deepest urge to just grab him and kiss him! It was unbelievable!
I thought to myself "ok, what the heck is wrong with you? you can't just kiss him! what the heck!"
I fought that feeling so hard, but I could tell I was losing the fight. I was getting so annoyed and irritated that eventually I dropped my face into my palms. He asked what the matter was, and I said I couldn't talk about it, but that wasn't an ok answer. He kept prodding and prodding till he figured it out, then he said "ok, I promise the only thing I will do is hug you before I leave."
So then I was like "oh, ok, I think I'm good." in my head.
we talked for a bit longer, then it was time for him to leave, so we stood up and hugged.
But then we didn't let go...
Neither of us did...
We would hug, part a little and talk, tease each other, sometimes try to tickle each other, then go back to hugging.
That went on for about an hour, and he started to hold on to me even tighter, to where if I tried to pull away, I couldn't because his grip was so strong.
He tried once to get me to give in and kiss him, by leaning his forehead against mine, but I never did give in. The last hug he gave me, another one where he had a tight hold on me, I finally grabbed his shoulders and said "I need you to let go now." and he said "ok.." kind of sadly, then we said good-bye and I went inside.
Once inside, I texted Taylor again, in a complete fit over what had just happened. I felt awful, and vulnerable, and all other things horrible. He had to tell me to calm down and breathe, then to explain everything that had happened. Once I did, he was rather appalled at me for letting Nathan get that close to me, and for even just being with him alone, for that matter... and that's not over and done with either. He told me he's going to come have a talk with me... we'll see how that goes.
So yeah, that's my dating life right now. Non existent, but just as hecktic.
So, Nigel, (Taylor's cousin, remember?) noticed one of the times when I flinched out of pain and asked if I was ok. I insisted that I was fine, but then as I kept flinching, he was like "no, seriously, something's wrong. What is it?"
So, I gave in and told him that my shoulders were hurting, but said I was fine and it wasn't a big deal.
OBVIOUSLY, that didn't fly.
The next time we went up to the briefing room, he was like "you sit on the lower bench."
and I said "ok..?"
so I sat on the lower bench, and he sat on the higher bench above me and rubbed my shoulders the whole time we were being briefed.
Ugh.
So then, after we were all done laser tagging, we went back to Nigel's house, where we usually have game night, down in his basement. The layout is pretty much one big rectangular room with his TV, his couches, his dresser, his bed, his computer, everything.
I usually avoid even going near the bed, but I was exhausted from working so long every day, so I curled up on one of the couches and crashed.
Taylor had given me a ride to game night, so I was kind of stuck.
When I woke up, everyone was playing crazy Uno, and there was actually another person there. Taylor's jacket was over me, so I was pretty much a little wigged.
"Whoa, is there another person here? Why is your jacket on me?" I asked Taylor, groggily.
They all laughed and told me to just go back to sleep. Then Nigel chimed in.
"You can just go lay down on the bed and go to sleep. Probably more comfortable than the couch."
I will admit, I agree full-heartedly. For one, Taylor is really loud, and two, curling up eventually gets kinda uncomfortable.
So I went and laid down on his bed, which was kind of weird because Nigel's man musk was on his pillows, and Taylor's jacket hood fell over my face for a second so I had Taylor's man musk from his jacket on one side of my face, and Nigel's man musk on the other side.
Super weird.
So, when Taylor drove me home about an hour and a half later, when I got in my house, I figured I oughta text Nigel and tell him thanks for letting me use his bed to crash on.
I texted him, and what he said back shocked me...
"it's comfortable huh, you should hang out there more often."
0.0
I was like WHAAAAT??
I immediately texted Taylor and was like "OH MY GOSH, WHAT DO I DO???"
He said it seemed like innocent friendliness, but I'm still not sure.
Taylor doesn't know anything that went on between me and Nigel last summer...
So yeah, that's the first story.
Second story is from last night...
Remember from my last post, how I was talkin about how I was feeling a lack of love from my family? So, still feelin that, but waaaay worse. To the point where yesterday I felt threatened being around my family members. Particularly my parents. They aren't the kind of parents that will love you just because I'm their kid. If I do something that might not be that smart, boy, do they let me know...
It really sucks sometimes.
So, Nathan (if you remember him. kind of creeper) asked me last night if he could come talk to me. I, feeling awful and lonely, said "sure, why not?"
So, he came over and we talked in my yard for the first little bit. Then we moved over to his car and sat on the hood and kept talking.
A very strange sensation overcame me. Every time I looked at him, I had the deepest urge to just grab him and kiss him! It was unbelievable!
I thought to myself "ok, what the heck is wrong with you? you can't just kiss him! what the heck!"
I fought that feeling so hard, but I could tell I was losing the fight. I was getting so annoyed and irritated that eventually I dropped my face into my palms. He asked what the matter was, and I said I couldn't talk about it, but that wasn't an ok answer. He kept prodding and prodding till he figured it out, then he said "ok, I promise the only thing I will do is hug you before I leave."
So then I was like "oh, ok, I think I'm good." in my head.
we talked for a bit longer, then it was time for him to leave, so we stood up and hugged.
But then we didn't let go...
Neither of us did...
We would hug, part a little and talk, tease each other, sometimes try to tickle each other, then go back to hugging.
That went on for about an hour, and he started to hold on to me even tighter, to where if I tried to pull away, I couldn't because his grip was so strong.
He tried once to get me to give in and kiss him, by leaning his forehead against mine, but I never did give in. The last hug he gave me, another one where he had a tight hold on me, I finally grabbed his shoulders and said "I need you to let go now." and he said "ok.." kind of sadly, then we said good-bye and I went inside.
Once inside, I texted Taylor again, in a complete fit over what had just happened. I felt awful, and vulnerable, and all other things horrible. He had to tell me to calm down and breathe, then to explain everything that had happened. Once I did, he was rather appalled at me for letting Nathan get that close to me, and for even just being with him alone, for that matter... and that's not over and done with either. He told me he's going to come have a talk with me... we'll see how that goes.
So yeah, that's my dating life right now. Non existent, but just as hecktic.
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