So, David asked me earlier this week
if we could meet up and talk tonight, and
kinda sort things out.
We did. He came over tonight, and we
talked for a little while, driving in his car,
but that didn't go anywhere. I was actually
really peeved about where it went,
or I should say where it DIDN'T go.
He basically didn't talk the whole time.
So, he dropped me off,
and I went inside, just thinking: "...huh?"
And then he texted me and was a LOT
more talkative, so I was like "Where was this
10 minutes ago?"
I guess he felt bad, or guilty, something, because
he asked if we could try again, talking, I mean.
I agreed, hesitantly, because if it turned out
anything like the last one, I was going to
let him have it, big time.
I was definitely surprised, because when I went
back out to talk to him, we just sat in his car
in front of my house, and he was
completely the opposite of what he was 10 minutes
previous. In fact, he was almost
interrogating me for answers of why this was this way
and why I acted this way, etc etc.
Now, before you go getting defensive and
labeling him as a jerk, let me just say, for myself,
that I did a freaking crap job of breaking up.
Like, no joke.
Crap job.
So, he kind of had a right to be asking
so many questions.
Anywho, so, I was really taken aback by
all the questions, and I kind of just wanted to
curl up into a ball and hide.
Especially because most of the questions he was
asking were based around the idea that he wanted
to know the exact reasons why I didn't
want to date him anymore.
That was a really hard conversation to have,
and I ended up crying because I felt so shallow
about the fact that I was having problems with
not being very physically attracted to him.
I still feel at least somewhat bad about it, frankly.
Either or, we ended up coming to a very
solid, good agreement, and I would still definitely
consider him to be a very good friend.
It was interesting though, some of the things
we addressed - which were the reason for my
sudden emotional breakdown - weren't about him
at all, and I kind felt the same way I did when
we hung out last Tuesday and I ended up
bawling into his chest for over an hour.
It was a really strange, almost "spiritually
cleansing" moment, I might call it.
Nothing like that has happened since way before I
left on my mission.
And since I've been back, it's happened twice.
The reason for the title this time, was after
I'd finally gotten a hold of myself,
I muttered "One more down."
Speaking figuratively of the bricks that I have
on my shoulders.
David disagreed, and said "I think that was two."
And I said "Probably more like five."
So, that's where that came from.
talked for a little while, driving in his car,
but that didn't go anywhere. I was actually
really peeved about where it went,
or I should say where it DIDN'T go.
He basically didn't talk the whole time.
So, he dropped me off,
and I went inside, just thinking: "...huh?"
And then he texted me and was a LOT
more talkative, so I was like "Where was this
10 minutes ago?"
I guess he felt bad, or guilty, something, because
he asked if we could try again, talking, I mean.
I agreed, hesitantly, because if it turned out
anything like the last one, I was going to
let him have it, big time.
I was definitely surprised, because when I went
back out to talk to him, we just sat in his car
in front of my house, and he was
completely the opposite of what he was 10 minutes
previous. In fact, he was almost
interrogating me for answers of why this was this way
and why I acted this way, etc etc.
Now, before you go getting defensive and
labeling him as a jerk, let me just say, for myself,
that I did a freaking crap job of breaking up.
Like, no joke.
Crap job.
So, he kind of had a right to be asking
so many questions.
Anywho, so, I was really taken aback by
all the questions, and I kind of just wanted to
curl up into a ball and hide.
Especially because most of the questions he was
asking were based around the idea that he wanted
to know the exact reasons why I didn't
want to date him anymore.
That was a really hard conversation to have,
and I ended up crying because I felt so shallow
about the fact that I was having problems with
not being very physically attracted to him.
I still feel at least somewhat bad about it, frankly.
Either or, we ended up coming to a very
solid, good agreement, and I would still definitely
consider him to be a very good friend.
It was interesting though, some of the things
we addressed - which were the reason for my
sudden emotional breakdown - weren't about him
at all, and I kind felt the same way I did when
we hung out last Tuesday and I ended up
bawling into his chest for over an hour.
It was a really strange, almost "spiritually
cleansing" moment, I might call it.
Nothing like that has happened since way before I
left on my mission.
And since I've been back, it's happened twice.
The reason for the title this time, was after
I'd finally gotten a hold of myself,
I muttered "One more down."
Speaking figuratively of the bricks that I have
on my shoulders.
David disagreed, and said "I think that was two."
And I said "Probably more like five."
So, that's where that came from.
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