Interesting Night for the Weirdness

I did something crazy yesterday, because I'm sick of Jason being a retard.

So anyway, I basically spent all of yesterday all on my lonesome, 

because my family was all gone crawdadding, and my brother had work, then he was going on a date.

And I was doing nothing. 

At all.

So, I went to Costa Vida for dinner, which yeah, I sat at a table all by myself.

No big deal. Then I went over to Macey's because it's close to it, and I was just walking around looking at random stuff, and I had this little thought.

That I should text Ty. 

At first, I was just like, "whatever." and I ignored it, because I couldn't talk to him. That'd be weird. But then it kept coming back, and I couldn't get the thought out of my head.

I started to wonder if I could actually pull it off. But I was way too chicken to try to just start talking to him.

So then, I tried coming up with this little plan.  I would text him and another friend whose name starts with T and just say that I'd sent it to him on accident...Oops.

I was all set with it, but as soon as I pushed "send", I panicked and pushed "cancel."

My heart was pounding, and I could scarcely breathe, but I felt better, because I hadn't actually gone through with it.

Then my phone vibrated.

And I swore to myself.

Apparently once the signal is sent, it's sent and there's no cancelling it.

So, I did exactly what I'd thought out and said "Sorry, that wasn't meant to go to you!" 

At first, he asked who it was, and I avoided the question, but then he said "Wait, I know this number."

And I swore to myself again.

I explained to him what had "happened" and he was totally chill with it, and even struck up a conversation with me.

I was actually really surprised that he didn't just go "oh, it's you. Ok bye" because that's what I had expected all along, but no, he just went on about how I had given him a graduation present and he knew it was from me, and I was like "well yeah, duh."

and he said "you should've signed your name on it." 

and I was like "H no."

so then he asked what I was doing, and I said I was walking around the outside fence of the temple by myself, because my brother was going on a date, and my parents were gone still. He asked if I would like some company, and I said "sure", so he came up to the temple, and we found each other and started walking around. 

We walked around the temple once, I think, then we walked back up to the street and across to the park, where we found a table and kicked it.  Not literally kicked it, but just sat down and talked, which PAY ATTENTION! when we were talking, I found out who barked at me that one time.
It was his friend.  He was telling me how said friend has gotten into a habit of barking at people, and as soon as he said that, I busted up laughing, but he never knew what I was laughing at...
Thank heaven for that.

(For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, I'd recommend reading this:)

I Promise I'm Not a Stalker!

When i got tired of sitting down, we walked again, but this time around the whole perimiter of the park, and around the Developmental Center which is close by.

When we got back to the temple, we went on a drive, and we drove around basically everywhere, including the pond he took me to in December where we'd had our discussion on everything that had happened, and I'd ended up crying in front of him. 

It was actually rather interesting, he asked me if I remembered what happened at that place, and I was like "oh yes, I remember very well." 

He asked what I meant, and I told him that the whole thing with me crying in front of him had really kind of embarrassed me, and he asked why, because he'd seen me cry countless times before that, and I said that that time, I really hadn't wanted him to see me cry. He said he understood, and then he said, teasingly of course, that when I had jumped when he put his hand on my shoulder, was the most insulting thing that has ever happened to him. 

I explained that I hadn't had phsyical contact with pretty much any of my guy friends in months, and him touching me felt like I'd just been electrocuted, and he nodded.

After we were done talking there, we went to his highschool and walked around the track outside of the football field. 

It was really weird, all the places we went were places that hold a lot of memory for us.  He told me earlier though, that he's been doing a lot of things to relive old memories before he leaves though, so I'm guessing that's what was going on.

I wouldn't think he would want to relive the memory of walking around the park though, because at least for me, that wasn't exactly the most pleasant memory I've had with him.

So yeah, when it got to be kinda late, we went back to the temple so I could get my car, which, miraculously, hadn't been ticketed, and before I got in my car, he gave me a hug, and it was actually a really long hug, which was weird for him. Usually when I gave him hugs, they were very short, unless you go back a reeeaaallly long time to when we were together, then there was hardly even a moment when we weren't basically attached to each other.

I feel so weird talking about this, because it's not upsetting to me at all, to be talking about our mistakes, and the good times. It's not making me miss him nearly so bad, and I'm not getting all upset and crap. Instead, I'm just really tired, but that's because I stayed up too late talking to him.

We were confused about what to do now, now that we've broken the ice and talked again.

He asked if I considered us to be friends, and I said I'm not sure, because ex's being friends is usually kind of risky.

So yeah, I think I've decided I'm going to tell him I can see him once, maybe twice more before he leaves, and I'll come to his farewell, like, at his church, but I won't come to his house because that would just be too awkward.

But I think that's what I'm going to do. 

And as for Jason?

I'm done with his games.  He's back from where ever it was that he disappeared to, and I still haven't heard from him at all. So yeah, I'm not even going to try anymore. I'm sick of it all.