Iatrophobia

Come to find out today, I might have that.

If you don't know, Iatrophobia is an irrational fear of doctors.

My medical exam for my mission is going to be coming up soon,

and I've been literally freaking out about it.

Not on the outside, because I have another psychological issue where 

I know if I freak out about something, anything in fact, my parents

(particularly my dad) will get mad and say that I'm overdramatizing

and that I need to GET OVER IT.

Which is stupid because you can't just GET OVER a phobia. 

I'm thinking I have said phobia because I was reading about it online

and this is what I found. These are the symptoms of a person who may

be diagnosed with it:

Obsessive Worrying – Normal anxiety is typically transitory. You might feel a wave of nervous when actively thinking about an upcoming appointment. You may feel stress on the way to the doctor’s office or while sitting in the waiting room. However, you will not spend a great deal of time thinking about an upcoming visit, and you will be able to distract yourself from the anxiety.

If you have iatrophobia, however, an upcoming doctor visit may be the source of endless worrying. You might find it difficult or impossible to focus on other things. Once you have reached the doctor’s office, you are likely to experience feelings of panic and a sensation of being out of control. You might sweat, shake or cry, or even refuse to enter the examination room.

Other Illness-Related Phobias – Many people with iatrophobia worry that they might need to see a doctor, even if no visits are currently scheduled. You might become obsessed with minor ailments, fearing that they will require medical treatment. It is relatively common for iatrophobia to occur alongside hypochondriasis or nosophobia, which are both phobias of illness.

Postponing Doctor Appointments – Those who merely experience nervousness about doctor visits typically do not try to avoid them. If you have iatrophobia, however, you might find yourself putting off checkups, vaccinations and other routine care. You might suffer through even relatively serious illnesses on your own, rather than seeking professional treatment.

Dentophobia – Although either phobia can occur independently, dentophobia, or fear of dentists, often occurs alongside iatrophobia. It is common for dentists to trigger the same fears as those triggered by doctors of all types.

White Coat Hypertension – Although controversial, the phenomenon of white coat hypertension has been documented by numerous researchers. This occurs when the stress of seeing a doctor is enough to raise your blood pressure to a clinically significant level. Your blood pressure is normal when checked at home or in another setting, such as a health fair, but is high at the doctor’s office.

that's from http://phobias.about.com/od/phobiaslist/a/iatrophobia.htm

I have almost all of those weird nervous tendencies, which is less than comforting.
However, you have to be diagnosed for this phobia.
I probably will never be diagnosed, because I don't go to doctors. Ever.
I hate going to the doctor.
Even just going for my mission physical, I'm freaking terrified.
Ugh, I'm so not looking forward to it, but it has to be done.
Although, the sucky thing is I probably won't take anyone with me because
I always feel so embarrassed about being scared if someone else is there.
So, if I end up having a complete emotional breakdown,
I'm all on my own.
That's great.
Oi, this is going to be a reeeeaaaalllly "fun" couple weeks.
Oh frick, I just remembered I have to get more shots too...
Uuuuuugh!