So nice to know people always forget you.

Ugh, I've been having major issues lately.  

Fidget has been the biggest dork the past week,

and Carrie and Brandon have been all getting ready for their wedding.
Whoop-di-doo for them.
The thing that pisses me off is that Brandon asked Fidget to be
his best man, or something to that extent,
leaving me the only one in our little foursome group out.
All the rest of them will all be in the wedding party.
Sooo fantastic.
No.
It's not fantastic.
It sucks.
Whatever.
If she doesn't want me to be a bridesmaid,
I'm sure she has a good reason.
Or maybe she just doesn't think that we're that good
of friends.
Which makes like, zero sense, cuz we hang out
all the time.
But whatever.
I shouldn't be angry.
It's their special day, not mine.
It's just kind of insulting to think you're really good
friends with someone, but then when something
special is happening for them, and they don't include you,
but they include your boyfriend...?
Yeah.
Kinda sucks.

Why the heck does this upset me so much?
I really shouldn't care that much about it.
Frick.
I know exactly why it bothers me.
Because I've ALWAYS felt like I'm second best.
I'm always the friend who gets thrown under the bus,
left out, stepped on, etc etc.
I don't know, I really feel like I have no friends sometimes.
No close friends anyway.
What the heck is wrong with me?
Am I just not a good friend?
I try to be one.
Maybe I'm just overreacting.
I mean, she did ask me to make the playlist
for their wedding.
I should be fine with that.
Not like it's my wedding.
And idk, she might be only having her sisters be her bridesmaids.
If that's the case, I can understand that.
I'm probably overreacting, but it is a really big deal to me
when I feel like I'm being left out, because it's happened
so many times.
I don't know why I'm even talking about any of this, but
whatever.
Anyway, now that I don't feel like I'm gonna blow up,
I'm gonna stop talking.