K, you just went from good boy to bad boy. Retard.

Oh my goooosh!
Frickin wanna shoot myself in the eyeball!
So, yesterday, after I went to work, "Larry" texted me again. I'm just gonna write down the whole conversation and add in some little explanations and side notes along the way. It was flippin ridiculous. But before I do that, I don't care anymore, his name is Ty. I'm fed up with giving him a fake name. And if he reads this, I really don't care.
Ty = normal
Me = green
Sidenotes = grey

Ty: So ma'am, have you thought about it?

Me: A little

(He was talking about being friends)

Ty: What'd you come up with?

Me: Nothing

Ty: That's depressing

Me: I told you what I expect of you if you wanna try to make this work. If you don't care enough to even try, fine. I really don't care.

Ty: I'd like to try, but when you don't have a vendetta against me.

Me: That's an assumption. I don't have a vendetta against you

Ty: It seems as though you do. I believe we tried this a little too early.

Me: Believe what you will. My expectations are going to stay the same no matter how long we wait.

Ty: Maybe

Me: They will. You may not believe me but I'm not lowering them.

Ty: Why do you want me to fight so bad in the first place?

Me: Because I want you to show me you deserve my friendship.

Ty: And how do you think you'll decide whether or not you got what you wanted?
Me: I'll know. (For crying out loud, not like I would've tortured him.)
Ty: And how do you mean by fight?

Me: Have you really never heard the term to "fight for somebody"?

Ty: That would make sense if the person I was fighting for would actually be around.

Me: What do you mean?

Ty: I don't know how I would fight for you over a text.

Me: Well, you'll have to figure out how to make it not over text. I'm not just gonna be a texting buddy.

Ty: You said last night me comin over to the play would be complicated.

Me: You said you didn't have time anyway.

Ty: No, but you said it'd be complicated nonetheless.

Me: Ty, you said you didn't have time.

Ty: It's cuz I didn't, but you still said it was complicated.

Me: I never said it was complicated.

Ty: I can't remember exactly what you said, but I know it was in the area of you not really wanting me around.

Me: I never said that. You assumed I didn't want you around.

(What I really said was "don't worry about it." about the play, and when he asked if it was because I didn't want him around, I said "idk how I feel about it..")

Ty: I'm sure it was along those lines.

Me: Nope.

Ty: It really was.

Me: It wasn't.

Ty: It was.

Me: Nope, it wasn't.

Ty: What'd you say?

Me: I said I didn't know how I feel about it.

Ty: I'm still pretty sure it was something else.

Me: Well then why don't you go check if you're so sure?

Ty: I don't have it.

Me: I do. That's what I said.

Ty: Nonetheless, it doesn't seem like you want me around.

Me: If you wanna take it that way, fine. I don't care.

Ty: Well is me being around something you can deal with?

Me: Not if you're gonna keep acting like this.

Ty: I still believe we need to give it more time.

Me: I think the only reason you're saying that is cuz you think by then I'll become subservient and willing to do things your way. It's not gonna happen no matter how long you wait though.

Ty: I don't want you subservient and I never did, I never asked you to do anything for me. I want to wait because you're still mad. This friendship thing is supposed to be a way that we can stay intact and hangout every now and again, not a way for us to start a weird and twisted thing where I end up beaten down. I'm willing to make things work, but I'm not going to bow down to your every will, because that's a form of mental abuse and I won't stand for it.

Me: Who says you're gonna end up beaten down? Unless you mean beaten down as in you actually having to let go of your pride for a little while. And if you think I'm just gonna mentally abuse you, why do you wanna be friends?

Ty: I mean sit here and beg for every little approval and if I end up upsetting have to think I'm the worst person in the world. What you're asking is so different from what a normal friendship is. U may think I'm crazy, but all the texts we've had over the last month and a half I've gone to other people and asked for advice, and I let them see all our texts, this is the one that's confusing everyone beyond reason.

(This is where I got pissed off beyond all reason. I had told maybe a couple people about the text conversations we've had but I never needed to ask for advice and I wanted to give him a little privacy about our conversations. So yeah..I was pissed)

Me: Fine, I'm done. I'm not dealing with this anymore. This is ridiculous.
Ty: I just think it's way too soon. Emotions have to let themselves go and time needs to help things.

Me: No, this isn't my emotions running wild. This is me finally having my head on straight. K? I'm done.

Ty: Do what you will ma'am. I can go out saying I tried, that's all that matters.

Me: Except you didn't. Another one of those things you'll kid yourself into believing for the rest of your life.

Ty: Haha tell that to the 13 people I've shown everything to. And feel free to keep the delusion that everything was always my fault.

Me: And go ahead and keep telling yourself you're not like your father.

Ty: Haha that doesn't effect me at all. I know who I am through and through. I'm done arguing cuz I'm not up for saying mean things to people I got a soft spot for and I'd hate to make you cry. So I'm done.

(Oh yeah?)

Me: Well I'm glad you know you're a jackass.

Ty: Haha insulting me isn't gonna do anything or get any reaction outta me. Well, I'm sorry we couldn't be friends. We're too set in our ways. But it's been this way forever haha

Me: You're not sorry. You're gonna laugh about this.

Ty: I am genuinely sorry, I really wanted to try. 2 years is a lot to give up in a month. But I'm not up for having to risk myself emotionally, physically, and mentally for the small chance at maybe making you happy.

(Shows how much you really care.)

Me: You were the one to walk out on everything, not me. I suggested us staying friends and going on dates and you said "No." You gave me no other choice but to break up with you over a frickin text, and when I did, you walked out on everything, and weren't even man enough to face me the next day. If anyone did any heartbreaking, it wasn't me. So don't give me the whole "2 years is a lot to lose in a month" thing because you walked out on me.

Ty: Grace, it's cuz when you asked I already knew what you actually wanted. I mean, Jamie told me that day how mad she was with you, cuz you were flirting with Josh more than normal that whole week and started getting more physical. I went to trusted people in my life and asked what I should do. It was your choice to break up, mine was whether or not I wanted anything to do with us after, and as I've tried the last little while to be ur friend you wouldn't have anything of it unless it was by ur terms. Heartbreak was on both sides, I had told you when it happened after the first time I didn't know how I'd react if it happened again. (and yet he says he knows himself through and through.  Yeah, sure.) That's how I reacted, but I tried to commune with you and all I got was more heartbreak. This is why I thought we needed more time, this is why I thought you needed to make sure you got everything out, so we didn't come into this guns blazing.

Me: Geez, you really are just like your dad. Victimizing yourself like that. You're unbelievable. Of course you would go to Jamie, although why you would trust her I have no idea after she tried to break us up once already. I never got super flirty with Josh, and especially not physical. But whatever, it doesn't matter anymore.

Ty: Haha I didn't victimize myself at ll, and yet I went to my family just barely and asked if that's what I should say before I sent it. I let you know the facts on my side of the break up, that was my intent witht he whole thing, besides when did u own up to ur faults pertaining to our breakup? U didn't u just blamed me for it all.

(He didn't say anything about me having any faults when we broke up. He had no complaints. So Idk where this came from. Figured I might as well find out what he was talking about.)

Me: K, tell me my faults, and I'll own up to them if they're true.

(This is the novel)

Ty: Obviously u wanted to break up, u just didn't want to tell me. U beat around the bush for a reason. I'm almost certain ur family member that day never told you to break up, u just wanted to find a way to introduce the concept. I knew of ur disappointment of when I wanted to quit football, and that's because you prided in me playing and liked to share it with others even though it was killing me on the inside to play (That was his dad, not me.) U say I was lazy, when you brought up non-money things I was willing to do it and have fun with it, I knew right from the get go u were someone who wanted material things, and wanted money spent on them, but it's a bit hard to do when money was scarce. I never tried to make you a servant, I never asked you to do one thing for me, because I didn't want you to feel I was controlling in any way. I never demanded you do anything rather than tell u of my dislike. I was always there for you when u needed me, because I care, and u did a good job of that as well, but in all honesty, we had a great relationship. We struggle now (Idk if he was implying the possibility of getting back together or what.) because things were left unattended and ends needed to be cut. So now its ur turn to let out.
Me: I don't need to let out anything, only that you were wrong on more than half of those assumptions. But you won't believe me, so there's no use in defending myself in what I already know. But go ahead and tell everyone you know that I was demanding and wanted to break up with you for a long time. I know I'm a little materialistic, but what girl ISN'T, Ty? And no, you weren't always there for me when I needed you backing me up. Ever since March and the whole shpeal with Adam. (That's the guy who kept watching me at work.)
Ty: So when we first started talking about breaking up and I asked "you wanna break up, don't you?" and you said "maybe...Idk..." u had already thought it out. If the situation was flip flopped, how would you honestly react, I can only assume from previous sputes we had had but what do you think you'd honestly do?

(Right after that, I got a text from him that was meant to go to somebody else. It said "I do. The extent of what I say is. She's upsetting me a lot right now." That pissed me off even more)

Ty: By the way, I never told anyone any negative. even after when people started saying rude things, I'd yell at everyone to be quiet and not defame you. (So what, you're trying to be my savior? And maybe you never said anything negative, but you SHOWED EVERYONE EVERYTHING WE WERE SAYING!!!)

Me: K, for one, you never asked me that, and I never said that. I said "well, should we break up?.." and you said "no, I don't wanna do that." and I said "well, idk what we're gonna do." and speaking from my own perspective, I would've tried to understand and if was needed, I could've backed off.

Ty: I never told you no, I don't wanna. I didn't want you to feel I was holding you back.
Me: Don't even try that. You said no. And who else are you talking to about this? (Speaking of the text that was meant for somebody else.)
Ty: Sophie and my dad right now, but they went to bed. All the people I have, have been my mom, papa p, mama brimhall, coaches hunsaker and harward, sho, dean, my dad, sophie, cole, dillan, aj, jamie, and lastly bro. Fano. And when we actually broke up, I was talking to papa p, cole, sho, aj and dillan the whole way through.
Me: Wow. (you're "impressive") You know who I talked to, before I broke up with you?
Ty: Nope.

Me: My mom. Before I made the decision she came and found me and we talked. I didn't say a word to anyone else.

Ty: That's where we differ. I let them read all the texts and asked what I should do. Some told me to break up and not deal with drama, others said try and talk it through, and others said if she wants to break up with you, that's her decision not yours.

Me: That is where we differ because I can do things by myself. I don't need other people telling me what to do.

Ty: I had friends giving me advice. I followed what I thought was best.
Me: I followed what I thought was best. (as in I didn't need someone whispering suggestions in my ear.)
Ty: That's good, I'm glad u did. That's where we're the same.

Me: That's not what you just said. You followed what others thought was best. You just picked whichever option was best out of the ones they gave you. I had to decide my options myself. We're different. I can think for myself.

Ty: Haha I did what I thought was best, I can promise you that. I didn't pick the option because they gave it. (Exactly, frickin baby.)

Me: You didn't have to come up with the options yourself though. Not at all.

Ty: The one I chose was always the one I thought I was gonna end up going with.

Me: That's not the point.

Ty: That is my point. Doesn't matter now, because the end result was something I was completely alright with.

(Then why the h*** did you even wanna TRY being friends in the FIRST PLACE?!?)

Me: Well that's great for you. I think it's pathetic, and I'd say that to anybody.

Ty: Haha that's fine.

Me: Alrighty then.

Ty: Indeed.

Me: Yep.

Ty: Well ma'am, if you ever feel u wanna talk to me, go for it. I'm not gonna bug u no more. I'm going to bed. 'night.

Me: I'm not starting anything with you. If anything's happening between us, it'll be coming from u. I don't need you anymore. G'night.

And that's what happened. I told him he has till next Saturday to come get the rest of his crap from my house or I'm getting rid of it, so I'll have to see him one more time but I really don't care. I've already deleted him from my phone, and myyearbook (I'm not even gonna use that thing anymore. It's full of skanks.) and I think I'm gonna burn everything he ever gave me. I probably will. I'm not gonna keep it. The thing that really disgusted me is how he was pretty much dangling my reputation over my head saying "come be friends or I'm gonna tell everybody what happened and they'll all hate you. But if you decide to be good and be my friend, I'll make everything all better."
Sicko.
The only thing I'm somewhat worried about is the Jamie that was mentioned in the conversation works with me, and I already knew she hated me. She was the girl that it took me forever to finally make him realize that she and I weren't gonna ever be friends, cuz she can't stand me. So yeah, now Idk how she's gonna act at work. I told my manager though, just in case she decides to take it to dramatic levels, so now she's got my back. Thank heaven.
So yeah, then this afternoon, before I was heading over to work, I got on the myyearbook thing just to check it out one more time, cuz I'm gonna delete my profile so he can't follow me, and it looked like he and his friend Cole were having a conversation over the "question" thing on the wall. I don't know what the whole conversation was, but judging by what was said, it definitely wasn't good. The question was "why, do you *********?" (the word starts with an 'M', in case you were wondering.)
His answer was "no fool, you're just mad yours isn't even big enough for anyone to suck."

Your eyes just got big, huh?

Mine did too!

Yep, explanation for the title of this post, right there.
Anyway, I actually feel a lot better after typing all that out.
Anyway, I'm finished.
Peace out.