I hate Mondays...

Well, today was somewhat better than the past while, but in a couple ways, it might have been worse..

It was great, because I got to spend a whoooole lot of time with Fidget, just me and him, filming, and we went to see a play together, which actually ended up getting pretty crazy, but that's a different story.

Then, after the play, we went back to his house and his parents were like "Fidget, we need you to come upstairs for a minute."

And turns out, his parents are taking his family to Disney World.

I don't know why, but as soon as I heard them all screaming and yelling about how excited they are, I got this sinking feeling in my gut and I kind of wanted to punch something. I was downstairs by myself, and when Fidget came back downstairs, that was the only thing he would talk about for the next like, 15 minutes.  

He asked me if I wanted to go down to the "Man Cave" for a little while before he had to take me home, and I said sure, and when we got down there, the interrogation began... 

He asked me if I was ok.

I said I was fine, but I didn't realize that I didn't look at him when I said it.

So then he said "Can you look me in the eye and tell me that?"

I was like "Dang it.." And then I did it, but he was still like, "I'm not convinced"

So then I tried telling him to just not worry about it, which he told me was dumb because there was 'no way he wasn't going to worry about it'.

After a little while of me refusing to give in, he started guessing what it was.

His first guess was jealousy, which I said "sort of"

Then he said I had to explain myself, so I started explaining about how my parents pretty much never take us on vacations, like, ever, and all the other financial problems that I've been having because of my parents, etc etc, and suddenly I started getting all choked up!

Panicking, I thought "Oh gosh, no!" and tried to hold myself together, but it did not work worth anything, and I ended up totally having a meltdown in front of him.  He'd been sitting on the couch next to the one I was sitting on, but once I'd started getting all choked up, first he'd grabbed my hand, but once I sat up and lost it, he got up and sat next to me and said "Come here." until I'd leaned into him and let it all go.  

Pretty much everything came out.

Even my being upset about having to go back blonde.

That one, I was like "What the heck?" but it kinda  makes sense.  

I'm a little bit of a ditz, and when I used to be blonde, before I started dying my hair a lot, I would get made fun of because I was a "stereotypical blonde".  

Sometimes, it really hurt.  

So, I really am not excited to go back to being blonde at all, for that reason.

But yeah, that's what happened tonight. Ended up having a total meltdown in front of Fidget.

I freaking hate Mondays.