Cold Turkey

I never really thought of it as that until yesterday,

when it suddenly hit me.

I'm not going to hear from Ty for 2 years.

2

whole

years.

We've been broken up for barely 18 months, but 

all that time, we've at least kept in contact, 

and I've even seen him a few times.

Did I do this to myself?

Did my inability to fully let go set the stage

for this to happen?

I've been completely torn up about this since

yesterday, and I can't find peace about it.

He's in my dreams all the time...

Ever since Sunday - nope, I take it back.

Before Sunday, by like, a week.

And now he's gone...

Like, GONE, gone...

Thank heaven I'm going on a mission of my own.

I would probably go mad if I had to stay 

around here and just never hear from him, except

for if I happened to be unfortunate enough to 

run into his family. 

I'm trying to tell myself that this is a

good thing. 

Because I know it is, but for some reason, 

the pain is still there.

Maybe it'll always be there.

I don't know. 

Either way, I know now, I'm definitely

not a fan of doing anything Cold Turkey.

It's not fun.